so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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