I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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