Cold hands, warm shart.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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