I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
