Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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