I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
