Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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