i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my shit smells like andre
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
