It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
