i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize