Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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