I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
