Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
