hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You need a sexual gate keeper
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
