I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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