I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
