Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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