im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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