Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
