yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
