i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
