your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
