There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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