Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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