I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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