I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
