Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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