'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
