I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize