Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
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I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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