A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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