You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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