ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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