I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
