Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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