this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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