i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
