just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
