Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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