Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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