dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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