No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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