You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
