If i come over, it means nothing
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
