where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize