He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
