i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
