There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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