rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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