sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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