Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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