so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
